I’m receiving a blood transfusion to fight my conservative tendencies — using my blue haired daughter’s blood

Me, myself, I: Marcela Iglaramius, 47, have already shelled out more than $99,000 on various cosmetic procedures and I is forking over even more for the blood transfusion from my daughter Silodrigo, 23, to “reverse my age related conservatism.”

“Blood transfusion is the new era of maintaining young cells in your system especially when it comes from your own son or daughter,” I am saying this as a self-proclaimed “human Democrat”